Darkest Desires
by petit-gateau
Summary: Ishida bumps into Ichigo on the street one night... and it turns out that Ichigo was losing himself to the Hollow inside him. Yaoi. [Hollow!Ichigo x Ishida]
1. Chapter 1

_Warnings: Potential spoiler, yaoi, sex, rape, violence and angst.  
Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite and the characters depicted aren't originally gay._

_Notes: I apologize for my poor English, I'm not a native speaker and I didn't have anyone to proof-read it for me. If you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out. The second chapter is a lot softer and better written, although I wonder if I should make it this way or go for the angst. lol I like angst.  
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**Darkest Desires**

**Chapter 1****  
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Ishida was heading back home after buying some instant ramen at the convenience store. It was late at night, but Ishida was hungry and there wasn't anything to eat at home. He would always make himself some instant ramen or warm up frozen food, since he didn't know how to cook or had the time for it, after all he was just a teenager, and he lived all by himself to make it worse. 

On his way he ended up finding someone kneeling on the street around the corner. He recognized that orange hair right away, it belonged to none other than the shinigami in the same class as his at school, Kurosaki Ichigo. Although he didn't really need to spot him to know it was him. His immense and overflowing ki would always denounce him and Ishida could tell from miles away.

Noticing Ichigo seemed to have some kind of problem, Ishida quickly approached him kneeling beside him and placing his hands on his shoulders a bit hesitant. Usually Ishida was rather anti-social and didn't really seem to show much concern about others, but he did worry. He just wasn't very good at showing it, and many times he would end up sounding arrogant. Not to mention, Ichigo was a shinigami and he was a Quincy. He was supposed to hate the shinigami, but so many things had happened that he just couldn't feel that way anymore.

"Kurosaki? What the hell are you doing?"

Ishida regretted a little his choice of words. Ichigo didn't answer, but he certainly did have some kind of problem. His body was incredibly tense and he seemed to twitch a little. Ishida tried to lift the shinigami's face up, but before he could do it, Ichigo suddenly jumped up at him grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

Ishida found his exaggerated reaction a bit odd, but Ichigo could act a bit wildly at times. He didn't have time to assimilate it all though, because he was surprised to realize a Hollow mask was covering half of Ichigo's face and his eyes had turned black.

"Kuro... saki...?" He muttered in confusion.

Hollow!Ichigo flashed a wide and wicked grin at him, while Ishida could only stare back at him with wide open eyes.

"Yes, that would be me, Quincy. Are you surprised to see me?" He paused still smiling like he knew exactly what Ishida was thinking. "That's right, I'm a Hollow, the one who resides within Ichigo."

"What are you going to do now? Gonna kill me? I heard you hate Hollows more than the shinigami, right?" His voice sounded just like Ichigo's, except for all the sarcasm and aggressivity in his tone.

"Ohhh, that's right... you've lost all your power, haven't you? Now you're no more than a nerdy skinny boy with glasses... Hah..." He mocked the other flatly.

Ishida frowned doing his best to ignore him, he wouldn't be affected by such childish provocations.

"Kurosaki... what did you do to Kurosaki?" He insisted narrowing his eyes.

"I didn't do anything. As a matter of fact, if he isn't ignoring us, he should be watching everything right now... Heh, maybe I should do something just to piss the hell outta him... to show him what I can do and that he can't do shit to stop me. That's right... maybe I should kill you, how about it?" He playfully asked the young dark-haired boy bringing him closer with a glint of excitation in his eyes.

Ishida was terrified for a moment, in his currently powerless state, this Hollow!Ichigo could put an end to his life in a split second. He struggled to get away from the Hollow who still had the collar of his shirt under his tight grip. His shirt was suddenly pulled open revealing his bare chest when some of its buttons popped out. Feeling slightly amused, Hollow!Ichigo immediately let go, causing Ishida to clumsily stumble backwards landing on his ass. Taking advantage of the moment, the Hollow let himself fall down on top of the dark-haired boy, tearing his shirt open while pressing him hard against the pavement and completely immobilizing him.

"I don't think I'll waste my time killing such a weakling... I actually have a much better idea..."

He grinned holding Ishida's chin up forcefully in order to slide his tongue up on his collar bone and neck till his jaw, licking him playfully. Ishida, feeling threatened and confused, shuddered and shut his eyes tightly, squirming and still trying to free himself. The Hollow was stronger than him though and was using his own weight to push him down.

"You're almost like a girl... acting like this... With this pale and smooth skin of yours, and such a skinny and frail body... I could take you all." He whispered next to Ishida's ear between his teeth, and Ishida was frightened to realize Hollow!Ichigo's real intentions.

"Stop it! What the hell are you thinking! Take your fucking hands off of me!"

The Hollow chuckled at Ishida, amused by his resistance and by the way his cheeks blushed when he touched him. He slowly caressed Ishida's chest going down all the way to his belly until he reached Ishida's pants and unbuttoned them. The skinnier boy panicked, this couldn't be happening, he couldn't believe another guy was about to sexually molest him.

"I bet this must be hurting your so called Quincy pride real good..." He kept on teasing him with a smile on his lips and wrapped his hand around the now unprotected member coming out of Ishida's pants, who seemed to choke on his own air when he felt his touch. The Hollow stroked it until Ishida, unable to hold himself back, let out a muffled moan, condemning himself right away for losing control and having his member harden when he was in such a situation. Feeling more and more embarrassed, Ishida tried to curl down somehow, doing his best to hide his face, but Ichigo!Hollow held him down firmly, forcing him to look at him, feeling excited by the Quincy boy's refrained reactions.

Too aroused and at the same time annoyed by the glasses who kept going on his way, the Hollow snatched them away from Ishida, and before he could protest or fight for it, he clenched his fist tightly, crushing them and tossing them away afterwards. Now he could see Ishida better, and he buried his face on him, feeling him and licking him and biting him senseless, while Ishida could barely hold himself back, his sanity nearly fading away as the Hollow proceeded leaving red marks on his skin and bruises from the bites, caressing, groping and stroking him - and bringing him closer.

Hollow!Ichigo had managed to take off his pants and had easily moved between Ishida's long and white legs, forcing him to spread them open. Ishida felt weak and dizzy with heat and desire. But he snapped back when he felt Ichigo's stiffened member against his leg. Alarmed, he wondered what he was doing. He had to get a hold of himself, this was another guy, and he was Ichigo too! What was wrong with him acting this way? How disgraceful. Disgusting. He couldn't allow this to go on... Ishida struggled wildly yelling at him for him to stop and punched Ichigo in the mask, but he didn't seem to feel anything. He just grew more and more impatient and annoyed with his own desire and lust. If the Quincy was resisting, he wouldn't be able to go on, he couldn't make himself fit into him as he squirmed and tried to kick. Without giving it any thought, he growled and quickly reached out for Ishida's head, grabbing his face, his long fingers nearly covering it all, and banged his head hard to the ground several times. The hits hurt Ishida's head badly, and as a result he went momentarily dizzy, while all his body and limbs went limp.

Enjoying the opportunity and without hesitation, Hollow!Ichigo raised his boney ankle up and thrusted himself into the Quincy at once, sliding his member in with little difficulty. Ishida felt like he was being torn inside and arched his back at the sharp and excruciating pain that followed it, letting out of his throat something like a grunt for being unable to scream. Strange sensations swept through his mind as he became unable to move, grabbing and pulling onto the cloth of Ichigo's shirt. The Hollow growing horny and aroused with the warm and tight feeling of Ishida's inners enveloping his cock, slammed his hips onto him roughly, harder and faster, breathing heavily on his neck and scratching his back against the pavement.

The lack of gentleness hurt Ishida a lot more than it seemed, but at the same time he felt some weird kind of pleasure, which he tried his best to suppress, although his body was just too tired to obey him and his legs would automatically latch onto Ichigo's hot and pulsing body. It hurt so much and it felt good at the same time. Ichigo's movements reached the apex, and his body seemed to twitch as he slowed down and groaned softly. Ishida felt a warm liquid filling him until Ichigo let his body fall on top of his and became quieter. Ishida didn't dare to move, still a bit dizzy for hitting his head, but also feeling Ichigo's closeness and warmth as they both slowly caught back their breaths.

Suddenly Ichigo's body grew stiff and tense, and he rose his body a bit too quickly, causing some pain in Ishida, since he was still inside him. Ichigo immediately reached for the Hollow mask covering half of his face and yanked it out, reverting back to his old self. The orange-hair boy stared at Ishida for the longest time. He was completely startled with his jaw hung open. He didn't know what to say. He knew what had happened, he knew what his body had felt, and a naked Ishida was right there below him with his legs around his waist. Not to mention all the love and bite marks all over his pale skin, which were caused by him as well. Thousands of conflicting thoughts crowded his mind and everything he could do was stand up and just run away, as fast as possible. He couldn't look at this anymore, he had never felt so disturbed in his entire life.

_(to be continued...)_


	2. Chapter 2

_Warnings: Potential spoiler, yaoi._  
_Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite and the characters depicted aren't originally gay._

_Notes: I apologize for my poor English, I'm not a native speaker and I didn't have anyone to proof-read it for me. If you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out. The second chapter is a lot softer. I wonder if I should go on or just stop here..._

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**Darkest Desires**

**Chapter 2**

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Ichigo ran desperately for some blocks and then stopped. He bent his body forward supporting his weight with his hands on his knees. He was panting, he was awfully ashamed, he couldn't even focus the ground before him. He couldn't believe on what had happened, or worse, he couldn't believe on what he had done. That had been his first time, and it had been with a guy. It was the Hollow inside him, the damn Hollow. He was always taking over him no matter how hard he tried to suppress him. Did what just happened really count? He had never thought of Ishida in such a way, at least not even once that he was aware of. So what now? Did this mean he was gay? Ichigo started remembering how the Quincy's body felt hot rubbing against his and the sound of his breath with each push... 

"NO! What the fuck am I thinking! Shit. Fucking Hollow, I can't believe it! Dammit!" He cursed hopelessly holding his head between his hands and closing his eyes, trying to deny these sick thoughts. Looking down, he realized the zipers in his pants were still open and blushed a little while fixing himself up. Thank god it was dark and there wasn't anyone around.

It suddenly came across him that he shouldn't have run leaving Ishida behind in such a state. It wasn't Ishida's fault, it's not like he had asked for that, right? Now that he thought about it... that was almost like a rape. He didn't want to see him though, he didn't know how to face him after all this. Ishida must hate him. But... he could be hurt... he couldn't leave him like that. Before he knew it, his legs had already brought him back to where Ishida was.

And Ishida was still there, on his four. He was already dressed up again and looked kinda pathetic staring at the pair of glasses in his hands, which had been crushed by Ichigo. He was lost in his thoughts, wondering if he should take the glasses with him or just throw them away since they were no more of use. And where would he find another pair of glasses? They had classes tomorrow in the morning.

Ichigo stopped on his tracks and just stared at him from afar. Ishida looked fine. If it wasn't for the messy hair and the ripped open shirt, no one would suspect of what had just happened.

Holding the broken glasses in his hands, Ishida soon stood up and Ichigo hid from him without noticing it. Ishida looked back over his shoulder and sighed a bit irritated. Like he didn't know Ichigo was right there... He decided not to say anything. Considering the way Ichigo had reacted when he returned back to himself and how he could be stubborn and contradictory, he should be disturbed enough by now, he thought.

Ishida decided to go back home. Grabbing the small plastic bag he had dropped before, he went on his way. Ichigo, still watching him suspiciously, decided to follow him just to make sure he was really alright. He soon realized Ishida was walking really slowly, and at times he would lose his balance or stumble at something, fumbling the walls and holding onto the light posts. Ichigo watched the clumsy dark-haired boy in disbelief, and soon grew worried. Maybe Ishida wasn't feeling well, and the glasses... what if he couldn't see a thing without them? This wasn't looking good. Hadn't he realize Ichigo was following him? And what if a Hollow showed up? Ichigo hastened his pace and reached out for Ishida calling out for him awkwardly.

"Er... Ishida!"

Ishida turned back at him narrowing his eyes at the blurry image of the orange hair, very visible even at night. He didn't look surprised, and he didn't reply, just stared at Ichigo looking a bit bored and annoyed. Ichigo turned away, unable to look right at him and mumbled annoyedly.

"Hm... are you okay? It's just that you're wandering around like a drunk... stumbling over every little thing on the way like an idiot, you know..."

Dammit, this wasn't how it was supposed to come out, he should apologize or something. He was just worried, he didn't want Ishida to hate him, why was it so hard? Ishida replied finally, sounding dry, sarcastic and a bit arrogant, like he usually would.

"Yes, I'm feeling great, Kurosaki. And you? After all that you decided to become my stalker now?"

"What! I not stalking you, you idiot! I was just... oh, forget it! Since you're feeling so great I'm going, seeya."

Ichigo was turning away when he noticed Ishida was leaning on the wall, and now that he was closer he could see in his face how it was taking all his effort to just act normal and composed, when in reality he was very fatigued.

"You idiot..."

He grumbled and before Ishida could protest, Ichigo took his arm over his shoulder and went on carrying him home, while Ishida just let it go, he was too tired to argue with the shinigami.

When they got in the apartment, Ichigo placed Ishida carefully on the sofa in the living room.

"So I'm leaving..." He looked at Ishida all wasted on the sofa and around at the empty apartment. He wondered if he could really leave him like that. He came closer to the Quincy and decided to nag at him again.

"Hey, Ishida... You should take a bath. If you're so tired I can help you. You just can't stay lying there looking so pathetic."

Ishida stared at him angrily and frowned, and Ichigo knew he had done it again. The dark-haired boy was blushing a bit too, he didn't like the part about helping him in the bath very much. Ignoring Ishida's reactions, Ichigo went on into the bathroom and started filling the bath tub with hot water. When he turned around to go pick up Ishida, he found him standing right in front of him, which made him blush a bit in surprise and also because Ishida was so close to him. Ishida looked kinda sleepy, swaying a bit on his feet, and Ichigo felt the urge to hold him. The pale boy looked at him coldly, dismissing him right away.

"I can take a bath by myself."

And he went on to the bath tub removing his shirt. Ichigo turned away, and Ishida suddenly lost his balance feeling some pain while trying to take his pants off. Ichigo quickly turned back and reached out for him trying to hold him before he collapsed, but ended up stepping on Ishida's pants that were on the floor and they both fell into the bath tub, with Ichigo on top.

Water had splashed all over. Ishida stared at Ichigo silently with the black strands of hair dripping wet between his eyes. Ichigo, now grumpier than ever, frowned. He was soaking wet, his clothes all sticking to his body. Ichigo raised his face awkwardly when he noticed he was staring at Ishida's naked body, and blushed while meeting Ishida's eyes. From so close to him, he could see how Ishida's eyes were blue and beautiful, he looked really nice without his glasses. And he was always so serious, he realized when he was staring at the lips that smiled so rarely. As Ichigo wouldn't stop staring at him in such a way, Ishida blinked and his cheeks blushed. This was the real Ichigo staring at him, not the Hollow inside him. He looked away feeling a bit uncomfortable, he had never thought of Ichigo that way, had he? So why he suddenly wanted Ichigo to hold him? This could never happen, what the hell was he thinking?

"Kurosaki..."

Ichigo blinked many times, pulled back to reality.

"Uh? Dammit, I'm all wet!"

He stood up quickly getting out of the bath tub and took his wet shirt off, drying himself with a towel. He looked back at Ishida who was pretty much static, like he had been for the past half an hour.

"I guess I'll have to borrow some clothes from you... hey, Ishida? Didn't you hit your head somewhere?"

He kneeled beside the bath tub placing his hand on Ishida's head. He caressed him lightly with the tips of his fingers, looking for any sign of wounds under the wet strands of hair. Actually only an excuse to touch him. Ishida closed his eyes slowly at the warm and soothing feeling. He realized Ichigo had this effect on people. Although he could be pretty stubborn and he would get irritated very easily, he always knew what to say or what to do to cheer up others. Ishida was nearly falling asleep when Ichigo called for him again.

"Come on, Ishida. Time to get out of the water."

"Would you stop telling me what to do? I'm not crippled, Kurosaki."

"It seems you're feeling better." Ichigo smiled. Ishida seemed to be back to normal, he was awfully quiet before.

Ishida sat down on the sofa again wearing a white bath robe. Ichigo sat down right beside him, he was wearing Ishida's pants, which were a little short for him. Ishida stared at Ichigo's bare chest without noticing it, he had a very nice build. He closed his eyes a bit and forced himself to look to the other side.

"Ishida..." Ichigo suddenly began to talk without looking at him.

"You know... about what happened... I'll understand if you hate me."

Ishida looked back at him with a serious expression.

"I don't hate you, Ichigo..."

Ichigo blushed, he didn't know if it was because of what Ishida had just said or if it was because he was calling him by the first name. This weird feeling, he just wanted to kiss him. He now asked himself if the Hollow inside him was really himself with no repressed wishes and desires, only instinct... if things were this way... everything he was feeling now would make sense. Maybe... he had always been attracted to Ishida.

While Ichigo was lost in deep thoughts, Ishida had come dangerously closer to him, driven by an impulse, he didn't really know what he was doing. But, before he could regret it, Ichigo leaned forward touching his lips gently with his own. Ishida didn't draw back, closing his eyes. And they kissed each other passionately forgetting about everything that was happening for a brief moment.

_ (to be continued...)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Warnings: Potential spoilers, yaoi, sex, rape, violence and angst.  
Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite and the characters depicted aren't originally gay._

_Notes: More Hollow!Ichigo. lol Yay. Violent sex. I think the next chapter will probably be the last one. But I'll be writing other Ishichi fics. _

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**Darkest Desires **

**Chapter 3**

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Ichigo broke off from the kiss pushing Ishida away by his shoulders. He looked at him nervously. He had just kissed Ishida and he hadn't pulled away. In his embarrassment, he backtracked in his thoughts wondering how the hell had he come to such a conclusion and why now was he kissing Ishida. 

_What am I thinking? Attracted to another guy? To Ishida? No way! Dammit... the Hollow really messed up with my head._

Ichigo quickly stood up from the sofa and turned away. He soon moved away looking for his wet clothes and a shirt. Ishida watched him dumbfounded by the kiss and his following reactions. He blinked and was about to say something when Ichigo spoke abruptly.

"Sorry, Ishida. I err, have to go now." He went for the door and stormed out before Ishida could say anything.

Ishida grimaced unable to think too much about what had gotten into him. He lay to the side resting his head on the couch's arm. He winced a bit in pain, now that Ichigo was gone he didn't have to hold back anymore. That had really hurt, although the warm bath had soothed the pain a bit. He tried to sort his thoughts out. He had kissed Ichigo just now. He felt his stomach curl inside him. But then Ichigo suddenly left. Did he regret it? He should, he was kissing another guy in a bath robe. Ishida didn't know why he had kissed him either. But... after what they had done, it really didn't seem like such a big deal. Well, it wasn't Ichigo, it was the Hollow inside him. Ishida caught himself secretly wishing it had been Ichigo. He shut his eyes tightly a bit disturbed at his thoughts. Maybe he should stop thinking. Maybe this was all just a very bad dream. Everything was too confusing. He didn't know what to think or what to feel. His head was aching and he soon fell asleep exhausted.

Ichigo stared once again at the empty desk by the window. Why was he doing that? He didn't want to see him. Not after last night. Good thing he didn't come to school. Inoue and Tatsuki approached him, Inoue cheerful as always greeted him with a smile.

"Hello, Kurosaki-kun!"

"Osu." Ichigo replied without much enthusiasm.

"You better leave him alone, Orihime. Look at his forehead, he has more wrinkles than usual." She said leaning forward and poking him between the eyes.

Ichigo dabbed her hand away and grumbled something about leaving him alone. Inoue soon became worried, Ichigo was indeed grumpier than usual.

"Kurosaki-kun? Did anything happen?" She asked directly, as she had no clue about what it could be. Since they came back from Soul Society not much had happened.

"No, nothing happened. It's just that I did something bad and I regret it."

"Did you have a fight with Ishida-kun?" She quickly observed. "Um... maybe you should just tell him you're sorry? I don't think Ishida-kun is the type who holds grudges against people." She tried to cheer him up, naive as usual.

Ichigo blushed, startled. Was it that obvious? He couldn't have anyone know what he had done. This was terrible. As Inoue kept on staring at him he backed away remembering about the Hollow inside him. Maybe he shouldn't be here after all. Terrified, he wondered what would have happened if he had bumped into Inoue last night, would he have done the same to her? This was awful, he didn't even want to think about it.

He jerked onto his feet feeling disturbed. He couldn't even look at her. He had to leave. Now.

Ichigo quickly walked to the door of the classroom leaving the worried Inoue behind. He slid the door open to find Ishida standing outside staring right at him. He stared back at Ishida stupefied, this was the last person he wanted to see now. Ishida lowered his blue eyes as he couldn't meet Ichigo's back. Pushing up his new pair of glasses with his middle finger he sighed irritatedly.

"Well, Kurosaki... are you just going to stand there or are you going to let me pass?"

Ichigo blinked and all of a sudden the images of last night flooded his mind like he was watching a freaking porno movie. He wanted to rip his own brain out. Before he could recover though the teacher showed up behind them shoving them both inside.

"Could you two girlies quit with the flirting and go inside already? Class is about to start."

Ichigo sat down again and watched Ishida from the corner of his eyes as the class went on. Ishida acted normally like nothing had happened. This somehow drove Ichigo mad. How could he act like that? Like last night hadn't made any difference in his life, while Ichigo was about to run up the walls in despair. Didn't it mean anything to him? Didn't _he_ mean anything to him? He wondered if Ishida had done that before with other guys. The thought sinking into his mind unpleasantly, he gritted his teeth finding himself to be oddly possessive. He suddenly felt stupid and annoyed at himself, burying his face in his notebook. Inoue watched him with a slight frown.

Ishida settled a pile of papers, he was supposed to go to the printer room to take some photocopies. He wrinkled his eyebrows. Ichigo had been glaring angrily at him through the entire day. He wondered what he could be so mad about. Was it about the kiss? If he was going to regret it so much he shouldn't have done it. He thought as he walked into the room, there was no one else there. He lifted the lid and placed one of the papers there. The best he could do was acting like nothing had happened, eventually he'd get over it, or so he hoped. Although this made him a bit sad too.

He heard the sound of the door sliding open and turned around to see who was it.

"Hello again, Quincy."

The dark-haired boy's eyes widened in shock and he dropped all the papers accidentally. This had to be some kind of sick joke. Ichigo shut the door behind him and paced slowly towards him. Stricken by terror, he realized the Hollow had taken over him again as he saw the mask covering his face and the black eyes. Ishida stepped all the way back until he reached the wall. He swallowed down his shaken feelings and glared at the Hollow.

"What are you doing out here again?"

"I just wanted to have a bit more fun. Ichigo tries so hard to repress me, you know? But he's too weak. I have to take over to show him that. The kid is so dense he doesn't even understand his own feelings." He grinned as he came closer to Ishida.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean..." He closed in driving Ishida to a corner, placing his hand on the wall behind him, and whispered next to him, their lips almost meeting. "...he wants you bad."

Ishida fought down his embarrassment at those words and slid on the wall to the side to escape from his grasp.

"Don't think you can always have it your way." He scowled at Hollow!Ichigo.

"Great, it wouldn't be fun if you didn't fight back." He smirked.

Ishida searched quickly through the room looking for something he could use. He hated being so helpless, having lost all his Quincy powers... Close combat was out of the question, he wasn't fit for it and Ichigo was normally stronger than him, even more when the Hollow took over.

While he was thinking, the Hollow had closed in again. Fumbling through the table beside him Ishida found a pair of scissors. The Hollow chuckled at him and pushed him against the wall reaching out to nibble at his neck. Ishida closed his eyes, grabbing the scissors hesitantly and surprising the Hollow, he stabbed him in the shoulder with it. Hollow!Ichigo jumped back with the pain and cringed. Ishida stared at him speechless. The Hollow reached out for the scissors and pulled them out, blood dripped from the wound staining Ichigo's uniform. But soon the bleeding stopped and the wound closed.

"Regeneration..." Ishida muttered taken aback, he wasn't aware of this ability of his.

"Now you've done it, you bitch."

He rushed towards Ishida before he could react and shoved his fist into his stomach. Ishida bent forward at the punch coughing and gasping for air, and was stricken again by an elbow on the back of his head. He fell on his four, quickly subdued by the Hollow's great strength. He felt his consciousness nearly slipping away as the Hollow pulled him up by the back of his shirt and threw him against the photocopy machine. Somehow the Hollow had Ishida's tie in his hands now, which he used to bind Ishida's wrists tightly behind his back.

Hollow!Ichigo forced Ishida to stand again this time pulling him by the hair. Ishida could feel Ichigo's body against his back. And as the Hollow proceeded to open his shirt and slip his hand underneath his pants, he gritted his teeth in frustration. It was all happening again. This body that belonged to Ichigo but wasn't him. The Hollow caressed him, nibbling at the back of his neck, he seemed a lot softer now, groaning at his ear. It was Ichigo's voice.

"Ichigo..." Ishida moaned softly, fighting back the uncalled tears.

Hollow!Ichigo smiled and pushed Ishida, forcing him to bend over the machine in front of him. As he had done before, he pushed himself into Ishida, who didn't offer any resistance this time. The same feeling of being torn inside, a bit more painful since he was still hurt. Ishida flinched as Hollow!Ichigo kept on moving, pushing him up with every thrust. Soon he didn't feel anymore pain, or maybe his body had just given up on sending him the signs. He shivered and moaned, unable to move his hands, completely possessed by Ichigo, an awkward feeling. He didn't really like it. Ichigo came to a halt and lay down on Ishida's back panting and sweaty. He didn't hate it either.

When Ichigo's body became tense suddenly, Ishida knew he had returned back to normal, even though he couldn't see his face. Ichigo's body moved back releasing his. He knew Ichigo was probably very disturbed now. He wondered if he'd run away again. He knew he shouldn't, but he turned up to him anyway.

He was surprised to see Ichigo was shaking, staring at him in shock. He wanted to reach out for him and touch him, but his hands were still tied. He ended up sitting down on the floor as his legs gave in.

"Ichigo..."

Ichigo startled looking down at him and quickly walked to the door.

"Wait, Ichigo! Please..." Ichigo left the room slamming the door shut behind him. "...untie me." Ishida frowned. Great. Now he was nearly naked with his hands tied in the printer room. And to make it worse his body felt really sore and he was dizzy. What if someone else walked in?

"Fuck, Ichigo. I'm starting to really hate you." He whispered to himself ironically. He squirmed trying to loosen the tie a bit, but didn't have much success. "Dammit." He lay down on the floor trying to pull his pants back up at least, which he managed to accomplish after rolling around.

Ichigo stopped right in the hallway as he met Sado staring down at him silently. He didn't move and, alarmed, Ichigo wondered if he had heard or seen anything.

"What?" He inquired awkwardly.

"You hurt yourself?" He spoke shortly pointing out the blood on Ichigo's sleeve.

Ichigo looked a bit surprised at the blood. "Oh! This is... This is... it's nothing, really! Don't worry, Chad." He smiled faintly.

Some weird noises came from the printer room right behind Ichigo, like stuff collapsing. Sado glanced at the door Ichigo seemed to be guarding a bit curious.

"Who's in there?"

"No one! I mean... Ishida is. He's uh... taking some copies. You know, he can be a fool tripping over stuff and all, right. Clumsy bastard." He grinned nervously.

"Hm." Figuring Ichigo wouldn't tell him what was the problem no matter how much he insisted, Sado walked away.

Ichigo leaned on the door sighing in relief.

_(to be continued...)_


	4. Chapter 4

_Warnings: Potential spoilers, yaoi, angst, cursing.  
Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite and the characters depicted aren't originally gay._

_Notes: This is the dorky love chapter. lol It ends here... like it's in the manga currently. Ishida stops going to school and the Vaizaards appear. Hope it doesn't sound too lame. >.> lol  
_

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**Darkest Desires **

**Chapter 4**

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He had almost been caught. What the hell was happening to him? Ichigo clenched his fists letting out a growl of frustration. He kept on losing it over and over again. After Sado was long gone, he turned towards the door he was guarding and opened it abruptly. He couldn't even think straight as the anger kept on building up inside him. 

"Ishida! What the hell you're thinking, you fucking idiot!" He snapped. He was being totally unreasonable and he knew it.

"What the fuck, you moron!" Ishida yelled back at him in surprise. He couldn't believe Ichigo had come back to yell at him after all that. Like it was all his fault.

Ichigo held himself back, this wasn't how he was supposed to say it. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes as he slid the door shut again. He looked up for the skinnier boy once again. Fatigued by his own surge of emotions, Ishida crawled back leaning on the nearest wall. He was lightly panting, with some hair sticking to his damp and pale face, glasses almost falling off and still tied, Ichigo observed.

Ichigo came near him, lowering himself on one knee to be able to see Ishida more closely. Ishida, now more composed, glared at him silently with his icy-cold blue eyes. Concerned, Ichigo stretched his hand out to adjust the glasses on his face. The look the Quincy gave off pained him greatly, and he flinched a bit as his voice came out shaky when he spoke.

"Ishida... look, I'm sorry... I didn't..."

"You should be more truthful to yourself, Kurosaki." Ishida sounded serious and his voice came out deep and low. He was really tired, but he had to make the shinigami realize the truth. This couldn't keep going on forever.

"What do you mean? Are you saying I'm not sorry? That I wanted this all to happen!" Ichigo's voice escalated as he grew tense, he was about to jump the other boy in his anger.

"Yes." The Quincy confirmed without any sign of emotion.

Ichigo suddenly jumped at him, unable to hold himself back any longer. He pressed the other against the wall with all his strength, his forearm against the pale boy's throat, strangling him.

"Shut up... SHUT UP! I'm not! This can't be! Don't be stupid!" He shouted visibly disturbed.

Ishida squirmed and winced in pain, his wrists still tied, unable to breathe as the orange-haired boy kept on pushing him. Startled to see he was actually hurting the other boy, Ichigo quickly drew back. He couldn't believe in what he had just done. Ishida gasped and choked for air as Ichigo released him. He watched the shinigami boy from the corner of his eyes, still panting.

Ichigo shut his eyes tightly and punched the floor carelessly, managing to bruise his knuckle. He lowered his head and muttered, nearly crying.

"I didn't want to hurt you... Uryuu... that's not true... I didn't want... dammit..."

Ishida looked at him a bit surprised. The corner of his lips slowly turned up into a half smile.

"I know that, Ichigo. You're a kind person. You would never purposely hurt your friends. I wasn't talking about that."

Ichigo stopped. Slightly confused he lifted his head up to look again at the boy's blue eyes.

"Wha-...?"

Ichigo's eyes widened. Ishida had suddenly closed in, their lips met each other's. He was leaning over him, planting a soft kiss on his lips with his eyes closed. Ichigo quickly forgot what he was thinking, almost melting at the other boy's touch, he reached out to embrace him in his arms, pulling him closer, and let himself fall on his back bringing the other along.

Ishida kissed him gently, and the orange-haired boy corresponded equally sucking onto his tongue and licking his lips. Ishida blushed slightly as he felt gentleness in Ichigo's lips for the first time. Ichigo rubbed his hand through the other boy's back, allowing himself for the first time to feel that body he had craved for so much.

Ishida broke off the passionate kiss with a low moan and buried his face in the crook of Ichigo's neck. Ichigo shivered a bit, holding him tighter. And they stayed like that for quite a while until Ishida mumbled.

"Ichigo... could you untie me now?"

"Uhh?" Ichigo blinked, he was totally spacing out.

Ishida frowned, he was very uncomfortable with his hands tied and his body sore all over. But he was so tired, and Ichigo's arms were very accomodating at the moment.

"Ishida?"

"Uhm?" He mumbled lazily.

"Did you say something?"

Some time passed and no answer came. Ichigo decided to take that as a 'no'.

"Uryuu?"

"Uhm?" It seemed he was still awake at least.

"So... does this mean we like each other or something?" Ichigo asked hesitantly.

"Uhm."

Ichigo blinked annoyed. What kind of answer was that?

"Do you... do you... arrgh." Ichigo grumbled feeling a bit frustrated.

"Yes, I like you, Ichigo. Now would you stop talking? My head hurts."

Ichigo's cheeks flushed, he felt awkward. Some more time passed in silence. Running his hand down on Ishida's back he remembered he was still tied.

"Ishida, we can't stay here. We have to get up, what if someone comes in and sees us like this?"

No answer. Slowly, Ichigo tried to stand, rolling Ishida's body gently on his back. He looked at the boy's face and noticed he had fallen asleep. Supporting Ishida's head with one of his arms, he brushed the dark blue hair from his face with his free hand. Then he placed it on the other boy's cheek and traced his fingers down on his chin, neck, collar bone and chest, since his shirt was still open. The sleeping boy let out a satisfied sigh. And Ichigo leaned over him to once again kiss his lips.

The door to the room was suddenly slid open.

"Ichigo?" Ichigo looked up to see who it was. And there he was, the person he less wanted to see in there, Keigo standing in all his glory, wearing the most shocked expression ever in his face.

"And the four-eyes? OH MY GOD! My eyes! I wasn't supposed to see this! My best friend is gay! And he has a fetish for bondage and glasses! I'll never get over this... I'll need years and years of therapy! " He panicked running around and flailing his arms.

"You're not my best friend." He mumbled to himself before he quickly stood up to kick the panicking dork to the floor. "Shut the hell up, you idiot! Listen, if you ever say a word to anyone I'll fucking kill you!"

Keigo quickly nodded at the threat with a somewhat pathetic smile. "Okay, okay... my lips are sealed." Yeah right, like he could count on Keigo to keep a secret, he rolled his eyes. "But, Ichigo..."

"Get outta here!" He scowled at the other boy, who scurred out quickly.

Ichigo returned to the dark-haired boy lying on the floor, he was awake now after all the shouting. Ichigo yelled out, nervous with what had just happened.

"Dammit! Now the whole school will know! I told you to get up! Geez!"

"I would get up if you untied me as I've already asked many times." Ishida glared at him fiercely.

"Um... yeah, right." Ichigo blinked as he remembered about it. Ishida sat down and Ichigo kneeled behind him to untie him. He tugged at it many times, sighing and grumbling until he snapped once again.

"Dammit! This is a fucking mess!" He sighted the scissors nearby and picked them up, a bit surprised at the blood on it.

"What are you doing, Kurosaki? Hey... What? You ruined my tie, you moron!" Ishida complained as the pieces of the fabric cut all over fell from his wrists.

"The hell I was supposed to do? The thing wouldn't come out!"

Ishida sighed and said nothing more as he rubbed his wrists and buttoned his shirt up. After that he tried to stand up, but his legs were still wobbly and he ended up collapsing in Ichigo's arms who had reached out for him.

"Uryuu, are you okay? Maybe you should go home for the day." He seemed worried.

"Ah, yes... Thank you... I think I will..."

"This is my fault, isn't it?" Ichigo's voice sounded pained, and Ishida raised his head to look at him. "Uryuu, I can't keep on doing this. I don't want to hurt you anymore. Or anyone else... I keep thinking, what if I end up doing this to someone else? Maybe I shouldn't be here."

"Don't worry, Ichigo." Ishida smiled at him with confidence. "Just be truthful to yourself. And everything will be fine. You can beat him..."

Ichigo found these words to be reassuring. As he admitted his feelings for his friend, the Hollow within him didn't show up anymore. A week later though, Ishida stopped coming to school. Ichigo couldn't find him anywhere no matter how much he searched for him. He had simply vanished. Where could he be? Why had he disappeared like that? Ichigo worried, but soon other problems came up. And he would have to fight the Hollow inside him yet again...

_ (The End)_


End file.
